I Don't Date Kids
by HerefortheNewtina
Summary: "You're sweet, but I'm a married woman. And very happily married at that. Also, even if I wasn't married, I don't date kids." Newt takes Tina out for a meal to make up for his lack of treating her in their early days of marriage. A young waiter has his eye on Tina. Oneshot. Newtina fluff. T because I'm paranoid.


**So I spontaneously wrote this fic and decided I wasn't too scared to upload it. It isn't the first Newtina fic I've written, in fact I have a lot saved, I'm just too scared to upload them for fear of the characters being too OOC or the timeline not being right. And yes there are British spellings used in this rather than American ones.**

 **As much as I admire her, I am not JKR, so I don't own anything. Enjoy!**

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He'd booked a table for two next to the window. Tina wasn't sure why Newt wanted to take her to dinner - he wasn't a fan of restaurants because they meant human interaction. He said he wanted to take her because he never treated her enough, and he wanted to do something nice for his wife, and wasn't he allowed to do that? She had agreed, yes he was allowed to do that, and that there were no complaints from her. She had come to the conclusion he was willing to deal with human interaction – one of his worst fears - for her. To be fair he had gotten slightly better over the years – doing interviews for a now world famous book does that to a person.

Tina was glad to get inside the restaurant, as outside London had that thoroughly annoying rain that Newt, and the other Brits, called 'drizzle'. Tina didn't appreciate this kind of weather – it was too light to be considered rain but was wet all the same. At least in New York it had rained torrentially or not at all. She'd found this drizzle made her hair start to curl in an irritating fashion, so she was glad to be wearing a hat. The waitress stood out front in the restaurant, a pretty young girl with a blonde bob (who instantly recognised them both but promised them complete privacy inside the restaurant) showed them to their seats next to the window, before handing them drinks menus and regular menus and walking back to the entrance. Like the English gentleman he was, or tried to be, Newt helped Tina out of her coat and pulled a chair out for her before sitting down himself. The window was spotted with rain – if you could call it rain – but it did offer a rather lovely view of Tower Bridge over the Thames, streetlamps reflecting in the water, and in the wet concrete of the pavements. It was rather romantic.

She gazed out of the window. "You did a good job on picking the seats." she said to her husband who leaned across and took both her hands in his, resting in the centre of the table. She turned and looked at him now.

"I had to make it perfect. For my perfect wife." he raised her hands in his and kissed them both, looking over their hands at her.

She couldn't help but giggle. He was such a romantic. _Mercy Lewis, Tina, you're 29, a grown woman, not a bloody schoolgirl. And now you're using British slang. Great._ "You're not bad yourself, Mr Scamander." she grinned.

"You're infinitely more perfect than I am. Mrs Scamander." He was still gazing into her eyes. His own green-blue eyes were sparkling, and they only sparkled like that when he was with her or his creatures. Or both. In which case they were positively shining.

The sound of her new title made her break into even more of a smile, if that was possible. She loved being reminded that she was married to the most amazing man she'd ever met. "Just keep calling me that. I love it when you say it." Her voice lowered slightly, and their hands had become knotted together in the centre of the table.

"Mrs Tina Scamander," he started, smiling, "I am absolutely honoured to be married to someone as wonderful as you. And I'm sorry I haven't treated you enough in the early stages of marriage, like one should. This is my way of making up for it."

"Why thank you." she said in a light tone, then added in a lower voice and with a cheeky grin, "You can make up for it in other ways when we get home too if you like." Tina blamed this flirtatious side of herself on being completely head over heels for the man sat opposite her. Before she met him, she would never have dreamed of flirting with anyone. And even after she did meet him, it took some time before she flirted with him.

He blushed at the tops of his cheekbones and very briefly his eyes flicked down to their hands knotted together, then back up to her eyes again. He was grinning though. "I'd be delighted, my love."

She continued to smile at him, when she realised they hadn't decided on what drink to have. "What drinks are we having then?" she said, finally looking at the drinks menu.

"Shall we get a bottle of red?" Newt suggested, his eyes skimming the menu, occasionally flicking back up to her.

"Sounds good to me. You do like your red wine." she mused.

"I do. I found out a while ago that having firewhisky with a meal is not a good idea."

Tina laughed, "Did you seriously do that?"

"I was 18. Theseus pranked me - he told me it was totally fine. It really was not."

"What happened?"

He shuddered at the memory, "You don't want to know."

Before Tina could insist that she did want to know, a waiter appeared at the edge of their table. He looked about seventeen, and had a nice face with a square jaw and high cheekbones. His dark hair was slicked back, though, and it kind of ruined his whole image. "Are you ready to order your drinks?" he asked, perfectly politely, with a sly glance at Tina.

She noticed this and laughed softly to herself. Whether or not the waiter saw, she didn't know. Newt, being Newt, was oblivious. But he ordered for them, without looking at the waiter. He asked for the restaurant's finest red wine. And the waiter, after taking the drinks menus, was gone as quickly as he came. "How do you expect us to pay for all of this?" Tina suddenly asked.

"Don't you worry about that, my dear. I'm paying for all of it, anyway."

"Newt, I'm a working woman. I can pay for my own food." Tina was never one for gender roles and stereotypes. After all, she had been the career woman, the main breadwinner, so to speak, for the majority of her adult life, while Queenie had been the housewife.

He ran a thumb affectionately over the back of her hand. "I know, love. And trust me, I do not doubt that. But I am treating you this evening, and it is the gentlemanly thing to do to pay for the meal."

"I'd be happy to go halves." she insisted.

But Newt was adamant. "No, I'm paying for all of it whether you like it or not."

"But-"

"But nothing. I am paying. You just enjoy your evening, Mrs Scamander." He grinned, knowing this was her weakness.

She sighed, rolled her eyes fondly and smiled, "You had to bring out that card, didn't you? Fine."

It was about ten minutes later that the waiter came back with a bottle of red wine on a round tray and two glasses. He set the glasses on the table and poured the wine, before placing the bottle on the table and walking away again, on his way winking at Tina over his shoulder. She rolled her eyes. Again, Newt didn't notice.

"Here's to us." he said, raising his glass.

"To us." she repeated, clinking her glass against his. Both of them simultaneously sipped the wine. It was to die for. Seconds later both glasses were set on the table and their hands were laced together across the table again. "The wine's very good." she stated, still smiling like an idiot.

"Indeed. Only the best for my wife." he replied, running his thumbs over the backs of her hands, gazing at her with a look of total adoration.

"You do spoil me." she said, a hint of a laugh in her voice.

"It's my job to spoil you rotten." Then he added, laughing, "Whether you're in the mood or not."

"You do pick your moments sometimes."

He shrugged, knowing this was true. A small green face poked it's way out of the pocket of Newt's coat, resting on the back of his chair. "Oh, sorry Pickett!" he apologised to the bowtruckle before letting him climb onto his hand and sit in the breast pocket of his waistcoat. Tina smiled fondly at Pickett leaning his arms on the edge of Newt's pocket, watching them both. "What are you having to eat?" she inquired as she scanned the restaurant's plethora of delicious-sounding meals.

"I think I might have a steak this evening. It would go nicely with the wine." he replied, not looking up from the menu.

"Alright, Mr Wine Connoisseur." She laughed.

"What? It would!" he protested, still laughing.

Tina sipped more of her wine as she scanned the menu carefully. "I'm torn between the grilled steak burger or the pork. It depends how big the burger is." she mused.

"Oh it's big. I've seen it being served before." When she looked at him sceptically he added, "I've seen you demolish larger burgers though."

"Done." she snapped the menu shut, then rose from her chair, informing her husband she was going to the bathroom, and to order her meal if the waiter came back while she was gone. He nodded and she crossed the room to where the corridor leading to the toilets was, having located it when they'd entered.

Before she left the bathroom she caught a glance of herself in the mirror. She was wearing a burgundy coloured dress that criss-crossed a number of times across her shoulder blades and had a halter neck across the front. The neckline was fairly low and had a slight heart shape to it, and the ribbon wrapping high around her waist gave way to a skirt reaching her ankles. Around her neck she wore a long necklace reaching to just below the neckline of the dress, the pendant being a silver recreation of a Fwooper feather decorated with pinkish crystals. It had been a wedding present from Newt. Who else?

She studied her face in the mirror. She'd never worn much makeup (Queenie had always worn a lot more – not that she needed it) and tonight was no exception. The extent of her makeup was usually a thin layer of foundation to even out her skin tone, powder to set it, a bit of rouge, a bit of mascara and, tonight, her favourite dark plum-red lipstick – enchanted to be completely transfer-proof. She wasn't surprised to then notice that her hair was sticking up a little where she'd been wearing a hat. She sighed as she smoothed it down, why hadn't Newt pointed this out? _Because he's Newt. He doesn't notice these things, nor does he care. He thinks I look beautiful whatever_ she reminded herself. After checking her hair was now in order, she turned and actually left the bathroom.

On her way back, she spotted the waiter coming in the opposite direction. He seemed to be coming from the direction of their table. When their paths crossed he stopped her by seemingly blocking her way and smiling pleasantly at her. "Hello again, beautiful. I'll tell you what, I'll give you a substantial discount if you come out with me Saturday night."

Tina was shell-shocked. Had this guy seriously had the audacity to straight up ask her out? She smirked and held up her left hand, on which both her golden wedding band and her diamond engagement ring glinted. "You're sweet, but I'm a married woman." she pointed to her wedding ring, "And _very_ _happily_ married at that. Also, even if I wasn't married, I don't date kids."

With that she sauntered back to their table, the waiter gazing after her with a look on his face that said _I do love a challenge_ before heading into the kitchen to process their order. When she reached the table Newt looked at her suspiciously, "What was the waiter saying to you?" He sounded curious, but there was a hint of defensiveness there.

Tina laughed, "He asked me out."

Now Newt's voice was all defensiveness. "He did _what?_ "

"He did. He straight up asked me out."

Now Newt smirked. "What did you say?"

"Oh, I'm meeting him on Saturday. Hope you don't mind." Tina said casually, getting a wide-eyed stare from Newt. She laughed, "I'm kidding! Of course I turned him down, he's barely out of Hogwarts."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him I was married. _Very happily_ married." As she said this she gazed at him and he smiled, taking her hands again. Then she added, "Oh and I also told him I don't date kids, even if I wasn't married."

Newt laughed, "That's my wife."

"He looked at me when he took our drinks and winked at me when he brought them out too."

"He did?" Newt looked ready to slam both hands on the table and find the waiter to hex him. But he didn't.

"Yes. You were too busy looking elsewhere to notice."

"I was too busy looking at you. Wondering how a man like me married a woman like you." he said this as he noticed the waiter coming back over with their food. Tina followed his gaze and they smirked at one another.

"Oh shush, you. I love you." she said loud enough for the waiter to hear as he reached their table. She smiled adoringly at her husband, who kissed the back of her hand.

"I love you more." he replied as they both laughed in a way that Queenie described as 'nauseatingly adorable'. And Tina had to agree. But she wanted to get the message across.

"No, I love _you_ more." she laughed, ignoring the waiter stood there, who had a steely look on his face.

"Your food." he said perfectly pleasantly, and placed their meals in front of them. To Tina he sounded slightly put out. Good.

"Thank you." Both of them said at the same time, then giggled, just to rub it in more.

Before the waiter could leave Tina thought of something, "You still haven't told me what I've done to deserve all of this." She smiled.

Newt knew what she was up to. "Being the most beautiful woman in the world helps." He said, truthfully too.

She giggled again, really over exaggerating now. "Oh, honey, you're so sweet." Both looked at the waiter, who looked slightly nauseated.

Newt actually made eye contact for once. "If you so much as look at my wife again, I will hex you. Are we clear?" he said coolly. From his waistcoat Pickett was just visible shaking his fist angrily. Tina decided she loved this defensive side of her husband.

The waiter simply nodded before quickly uttering, "Enjoy your food." and then speed walking away, probably to hide in shame.

As soon as he was gone the couple burst out laughing. "Did you see his face?" Tina asked through her laughter, "He looked like he was ready to barf."

"He probably was. We were pretty nauseating." Her husband replied, still laughing. "I loved your over exaggerated giggling."

She smiled. "All jokes aside, you are sweet to me and I do love you."

"And I really do think you're the most beautiful woman in the world. And I love you too."

"You're not bad yourself." She grinned.

"Shall we eat?" He suggested.

She laughed, "Thought you'd never ask."

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 **I hope you enjoyed that little oneshot! I would appreciate your reviews if you have any.  
**

 **Peace!**


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